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Cathy de Moll

Short bursts of splendor in an ordinary life
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June 21, 2020: Enough

June 21, 2020: Enough

Day 96: Enough

June 23, 2020

Shelter in Place, San Francisco, California

This rather spindly bush rose stretches out beneath the Angel Trumpet and reaches, sometimes, across the path to find the sun. This is the first year we’ve had more than a few token blossoms from this simple, uncomplaining beauty.

Our original plan for the garden was to put the plants that needed more water up by the house, and drought-resistant, native plants toward the back. We installed a rain barrel on the deck with a short hose down to the garden so we could capture water from the winter rains and, with gravity, use it in a very limited area during the dryer months. But then we got greedy - or I’ll say I did. The flow of the paths and my love for old familiars were too tempting, and soon, in summer, we needed weekly watering front to back. Rather than stick to a plan that made ecological sense, we sidelined the rain barrel and bought a longer hose.

I’ve been thinking lately about what constitutes “enough” in my own life and what I could, what I should sacrifice for the greater good. On a personal level, the pandemic has brought home for me the vulnerability of my own life savings and the insecurity of the nation’s food supply. I’ve always taken the two for granted. But there are far too many people in this country who deal with these insecurities every single day - with the pandemic and without. Do I really think that even with the current crises, my savings account will drop to zero before I die or that I’ll ever have to skip a meal? No! So, how much is enough? How much is too much? What am I willing to give up in the time I have left on this earth to facilitate a fairer distribution of wealth and to protect my grandchildren from ecological catastrophe? Big questions. And for me, not a lot of time. As a nation, we’ve got a lot of choices to make, too.

In the garden, I guiltily promise myself I will be more careful not to waste - watering in the early mornings to avoid evaporation and only “enough” to keep things going until the rains return. In the rest of my life, quite honestly, I’m still thinking.

← Day 97: Missing the BirdsDay 95: The Last Light →

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