Cleaning up the back garden on Sunday I became the reluctant eavesdropper on one half of an online date. Since the quarantine, there’s generally been more activity and noise in our collective back yards and this young man, in particular, has been regularly working the phone outside in what sounds like very polite project management. Not this weekend. What I heard had all the trappings of a first date, and seemed to go quite well. With a little googling, I learned that he is not alone. Dating apps have seen a huge surge of traffic, as people switch from arranging dates to having them online. And who’s to say there won’t be benefits from that? Love right now has to move a little slower and invent another kind of intimacy, but life does go on. Romance, too. There are, of course, many variations to this theme, each with its own challenges: couples that have been dating for a while but aren’t ready to cohabit - how do they keep the relationship going? Couples in the midst of a rough patch - how do they work out their differences amidst all of this added stress? Are they better off working through it together or getting out while they can? I’m watching each of these relationship challenges unfold within my circle of family and friends… and, evidently, right across the fence.
On Sunday, I had my first chat with the young renters on the other side of the garden as well, and though only a brief conversation, it was still a new and welcome opening. At least we know each others’ names. A few days ago and a little further down the way, I finally convinced my very shy fellow gardener to exchange email addresses, though he’s been passing me plant cuttings over the fence for years. “We’ll only email each other if we’re in trouble,” I promised, taking advantage of the virus to make a better friend.
I still feel a bit of a stranger in San Francisco, having lived here for only a few years, and being an introvert by nature. Just before the virus struck, I had begun to act on a new year’s resolution to make more local friends. Instead, I too, have returned online for the warmth of connections that span the globe and a rather lengthy lifetime. And I’ve made some new connections, too. “Funny how the dreaded virus has thrown strangers together,” wrote a new friend in South Africa I’ve met through my blog. Funny, indeed. Love and friendship are our lifelines in the time of Corona. Through the ether - and over the fence - we have never needed each other more.